you know what? it’s only me to blame for choosing. for believing in this person. for explaining this person for so many years. for calling her my friend. for crying for so many years because of her. for believing that if I am a good friend, then I will get something back.
guess what? I was fucking wrong for that many years. My mum, who saw me crying because of her not one time, was right telling me that she is not my friend. I was wrong for defending her, telling everybody that it’s our way of friendship. I was so wrong. and seeing now that I was so wrong hurts so bad. Because I lost so many years believing.
Does friendship in real life exist at all? Because my so-call best friend who I know in real life, since kindergarten is not worth my friendship and today proved to me that for her I’m not a friend at all. I have few awesome people in my life, who I call friends, but they are not here in my place, they are so fucking far away. And I don’t know how life would look like, if they lived here.
So maybe the question isn’t if friendship exist. I guess it does. The question is : am I able to find real best friend in real life? Because right now I so am not sure about it.
- Current Location:Poland, Gdynia
- Current Mood: disappointed